Everybody here at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy loves Tzepao Sanpien Chinese Aphrodisiacs, especially on Eros Day, Valentine's Day, at the Weimar Love show, and on other special nights. Every china blue silk and glass container holds 10 aphrodisiacs, each individually wrapped in a wax ball inside an exquisite red and gold silk box. Chewy, rich in healthful herbs and somewhat chocolatey in taste, the fun tends to begin about 10 minutes after swallowing.

These potent morsels were first introduced to us by UC Berkeley Theater Professor Mel Gordon, author of "Voluptuous Panic: The Erotic World of Weimar Berlin" and a featured guest on "WEIMAR LOVE." As we munched the dense, chocolatey little balls and proceeded to enjoy a small orgy, Professor Mel told us the key ingredients included the male genitalia of three different mammals; that is, Penis of Dog, Penis of Deer and Penis of Antelope.

We were having way too much fun to seriously question the good professor about this at the time. Later, we asked several wholesalers and retailers of Tzepao Sanpien, all of whom insisted that the ingredients are: Panax Ginseng, Honey, Chinese Angelica Root plus a few other herbs that are harder to spell, copious amounts of Vitamins A and D, and without a trace of animal parts of any kind, let alone any animal penises.

Do they work? We can't guarantee that munching a Tzepao Sanpien ball will make you wildly horny when you're not in the mood or repulsed by someone. We can assure you that they are nutritious, and certainly not harmful, unless you attempt to scarf down all 10 at once by yourself.

And they do SEEM to have an arousing effect, at least when combined with a small amount of alcohol and a positive atititude. Our (uncontrolled) tests here at Dr. Suzy's Speakeasy reveal that most people who eat them get very, very sexual and often wind up engaging in some form of highly orgasmic sex, or at least dancing all night.

So, if you’re an adventurous soul, and if you like chewy chocolatey stuff mixed with ginseng and mystery, try it... you’ll probably like it. If you have adventurous friends, why not throw a Tzepao Sanpien Chinese Aphrodisiac Party? And don’t forget to send us the photos.